Late ramblings...

Things I want to learn (and SOON):
Crochet
Knitting
Polymer clay pendents
mosaics
jewelry making (I have all of the stuff thanks to family and Christmas gifts from friends)

Things I NEED to take care of (immediately):
Get a second job
name change at work (although I've faxed in all my documentation of my name change...it still hasn't been processed and I need to follow-up)


I am trying to work around my situation and not let myself get wrapped up in it. I don't want to lose who I've become because of this. This lack of money. This lack of opportunity at a seemingly great job (no full time and no way to be promoted). To be able to get a second job and stop worrying myself to death about bills, building a savings account, starting a retirement plan, and looking for our first house would be an amazing burden lifted from my shoulders.

If only I could make money from my crafts...sell them and get enough from selling them that I can save enough money so that we can have a child. I want to have a baby. I know I'm still really young but I KNOW we are ready mentally. We are not however financially stable enough for that.

My husband is trying so hard to keep me positive. He knows me so well and knows how I used to react to stress. I used to be very self-destructive when I was a little younger. Self-harming and making bad decisions. I am not that person anymore. I would become ill if I looked at myself in the mirror and SAW that person again. Its not something I am willing to do. So any and everything I can do to remain positive is only a good thing for me. He keeps my mind off of money. He knows I LOVE to go with him...driving around town looking for abandoned buildings and looking for great photo opportunities for him to shoot. He does photography free lance but he is a Dudley Do Right and refuses to get too close to buildings afraid we will get arrested for trespassing. I love going with him and finding a great place (dilapidated and run down and old and BEAUTIFUL) and I love telling him...."Lets go in! Come on whats the worst that can happen? A cop pulls up and sees a young couple taking photos of a gorgeous old mansion? He tells us to leave and we apologize and we go but at least until he pulls up you are getting GREAT shots of this place" I love the look on his face. That look like "I love this wild and crazy girl. This girl is my best friend." I feel like because I am encouraging him to pursue his dream of photography I am in turn helping myself to let go of silly things that get me all bottled up. Just walking around on a beautiful day listening to his camera click and click and click and taking in all of my surroundings. An old barn wide open (no signs posted about trespassing) walk in and see birds and hay and old equipment. While he is working I am imagining what life was like for people who USED that space before it became what it is today. Men who worked that equipment daily to bring home money to their family. Women who came in to feed the animals that were kept there overnight. Children who ran around that barn playing tag.

Thinking about that makes me feel good. Makes me feel connected to that town.

We drove to two different towns today and visited an old brick store that unfortunately was all closed up but I was able to look through the window and take in the really rich looking old bar and tables and chairs. Great sturdy wooden furniture. We also visited an abandoned fertilizer plant that was just in ruins. There was a train track behind it and I walked down it while Charles was taking picture after picture of any and everything he could capture...I wondered how many trains traveled that track...what they were transporting...what life is like to travel on a train day in a day out for a living.


The day out today was really great. Its free fun and we only had ONE police officer stop and run Charles' tag while we were walking around and we asked if there was a problem he said no and told us to have a great day. It was a successful day and Charles got some really great photos. Images that I hope he can sell as fine art prints. Images that I hope makes him feel good about himself because I am so proud of him. I'm so proud of what we are together.

Today was a good day. No breakdowns. No fits of rage about anything. Tonight I will not lay awake thinking of all the things that are wrong in my life. Maybe tonight I will sleep soundly.

-Shay-

Everytime I turn around...

Every time I turn around...I find another thing that disappoints me. I hate this!!! I find myself finding more things that annoy me than things that inspire and motivate me. I am 21!!!! TWENTY FRIGGIN' ONE!!! W.T.F. is wrong with me? My mom tells me its because I have low iron and I'm anemic and I need to take better care of myself instead of thinking about other things.

She is so right. I need to get a second job so I can stop being so stressed about money. I need to get back on my exercise schedule...stick to it and take all of my vitamins (EVERYDAY!). I need to start making lists. I used to make lists allllll the time.

Lists like: what I am grateful for, What I love about myself, What I could improve about myself and then make a plan so I can improve my faults, What I love about my husband and our life together, What I love about my current job.

Just something on a piece of paper that solidifies my desire to appreciate life more. Shit maybe I'll start my list RIGHT NOW!

LIST no. ONE:
What I love about myself:
1. I wear my heart on my sleeve. That is NOT a bad thing!
2. I'm compassionate. I empathize.
3. I give advice when asked and I always tell the person that I'm advising exactly what I think! no sugarcoating. No games.
4. I don't play mind games well. I don't like mind games. But I am a fast learner, so if that's the game ANYONE wants to play I'd be a great opponent.
5. I try to help myself before I ask for help.
6. If I get hurt (especially by someone I love with all of my heart) I am quick to say "bye" but also quick to drop my grudge if I feel like the person SERIOUSLY wants to be a better person or wants to apologize for how they've wronged me.
7. If I am upset I have a pity party and then I try to get over it or find a way to move past whatever it is that is getting to me. (like now!)
8. I love my mom...and my family...and my mother in law and sister in law...and the fact that these people in my life makes me feel like I can do WHATEVER I want to do!
9. I'm goal oriented.
10. I'm a giver, not a taker.
11. My mom raised me to be polite but not some one that can be walked all over.

WHEW

I already feel a little better!



No quote or horoscope or recipe tonight! just positive thoughts.

-Shalenna-

Gobble Gobble day

I am so happy with how Thanksgiving panned out. I got up super early and started cooking. I got Charles involved with cooking too even though he swears he is illiterate in the kitchen. haha. Everything was finished by 2:30 which was PERFECT because our newlywed friends showed up Right as the dinner rolls came out of the oven. I didn't burn a thing. I'm scatterbrained and I can cook and I think I cook well however when there are 5 or 6 different things cooking in the kitchen I forget about one of them. That one thing I typically forget are the dinner rolls. haha. So those were perfect.

We ate then played Scene it which is HILARIOUSLY fun. After Scene it we played Phase 10 then more people started coming over (just in time for my famous cheesecake).

We ate some sweets then the girls got in the kitchen and cleaned it up while the guys talked cars and watched Mixed Martial Arts (UFC re-runs) on TV.

All in all it was pretty good.

-Shalenna-

Saturday o' fun (RECIPE)

I went to work and the co-workers loved the green bean casserole. It was a huge success. I'm so extremely tired. I have a nocturnal husband who thinks like a five year old (if he goes to bed before 10 he is going to miss something important). So he keeps me up and then I have to get up super early in the morning for work and he sleeps in until 8:30. haha. So I think i'm getting the short end of this stick. He is a goof-ball and I love him more than anything...


So if anyone is interested in the green bean casserole recipe....HERE IT IS. It's fail proof...


Momma's Green Bean Casserole


Ingredients:
*4 Cans of Green Beans
*2 Cans of Crm of Chicken Soup
*one Pkg of Bacon
*One medium Onion
*One can of French Fried Onions
*Salt & Pepper (optional)

Prep:
Preheat oven to 350'
Open package of Bacon and cut vertically three to four sections of bacon and warm over medium heat a skillet for frying the bacon
Open four cans of Green Beans and strain (setting aside a cup of juice from cans)

Begin frying first "batch" of bacon (one of your 3 or 4 sections)
Draining bacon grease between each "batch" (set aside some of the grease for later)
Dice onions and throw in with the last "batch" of bacon to sweat/cook

After bacon is done set on a plate with napkins to remove excess grease.
Combine green beans, soup, bacon, and onion. Gently mix being careful not to cut/mash the beans.
Mixture will be thick. To thin pour some of green bean juice and mix. Then add two or three teaspoons of bacon grease to flavor and mix. (I do no add salt at all because juice from green beans and the grease from the bacon is salty enough). Add more juice to get the mixture to desired thickness. (I like my mixture creamy but not too thick). Pepper to taste.

Bake uncovered for about 30 mins at 350'
Remove from Oven and cover top with the French Fried Onions
Return casserole back to the oven for another 10-15 mins until Fried onions are lightly browned. (watch closely because they burn fast)

Remove from oven. Serve hot. Serves a family of 5 or 6 with leftovers to spare.


GREAT THANKSGIVING DISH.
I have to thank my mom for THIS I love love love love this casserole its my favorite thing to eat on Thanksgiving.

Enjoy

-ShayTACULAR!

eeEEEKKconomy

They are cutting hours at my job. Which is really depressing because its holiday season. I was hoping because its just me and Charles and we aren't buying for EXTENDED family this year that we could really splurge on ourselves and put a few extra gifts under the tree for one another but with my hours being cut and he only works park time due to school that Christmas this year won't be too jolly.

I'm trying to stay positive so lets get off that subject and talk about something that always makes me happy. My cats! My cat NEVER had fleas and other than vet trips she NEVER went outside but when we adopted our NEW kitty(that we love!!!) from the pound she unfortunately brought fleas with her. SO i had to go and get some flea medicine from the vet and now we are on the right track...and I'm vacuuming like crazy. HAHA


Tomorrow is a Thanksgiving Luncheon at work and I'm kind of excited to showcase my green-bean casserole. I have to get my recipe out and refresh myself making it.


Well Here is the horoscope of the day for all you SCORPIO'S out there:

You may have had recent opportunities mixed with the instability of unexpected setbacks or delays. Now you are being offered one last chance to make a powerful statement by building a business that can carry you into the future. Fear can temporarily paralyze you and increase your worries until they overwhelm you. Just do the best you can and then let it go for the best possible results.

Hope it sheds some light on your perspective.

-ShayTACULAR!

The cleaning lady

Today was a fairly productive day. I got up early early early and dropped my kitten off at the vet ONLY for them to tell me that before they can spay her they would need to update her vaccinations. So they did that today instead of keeping her overnight for surgery. She is lethargic but she is going to be fine. I went to my mom's and helped her clean her house. She has a LOT of hardwood floors and my little brother has allergies. I got there and she was sick so I ended up doing the breakfast dishes, laundry, and the floors so that when she gets her strength back her house will look like it did when she started to get sick. She has three young kids (my two little brothers and my niece that she has custody of) and the kids run around like crazy. I came home, got my ATC's put in an envelope with a lovely message attached to each and addressed them. Those will be sent tomorrow along with my Dotee Doll swap. Those two swaps out of the way will give me time to focus on gearing up for THANKSGIVING! Gobble Gobble.


The QUOTE of the day:

"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty."

Sacha Guitry (1885 - 1957)

Off to cook dinner and spend time with my lovey-dove

First day on the scene

Today has been pretty uneventful. I tried to squeeze my youngest fury child into the vet to have a checkup and to be spayed however they were booked. I will be dropping her off early in the morning and hope that she doesn't hate me when they are done with her surgery.

I'll be sending off two of my swaps today to my partners. It'll be nice to get those off my things to do list so I can start on some more. I'm a newbie at swapping so I'm not trying to go overboard and sign up for too many that I forget sending one or two of them out. That would be NO FAIR to my partners.

So I think I will give either the word, quote, or horescope of the day in my blogs because those are fun.

Today it will be a "Word" of the day and I'm going to try to use this word in conversation at least once today maybe even twice if it's a good one.

libation:

(noun) [lie'-BAY-shahn]
1. the act of pouring a liquid offering, especially wine 2. a beverage, especially an alcoholic one (often used humorously)

So that is that thus far. Taking care of swaps and hanging out with my kitties. Tomorrow will be more exciting.


Tah-Tah
-Shay-