I'm sitting here watching Kaden sleep (yes I'm typing this while watching him sleep...he fell asleep in his car seat on the way home from Grandma's house) I realize he is going to be mad at me when he stirs and realizes I left him sleeping in his car seat. It doesn't matter that I'm sitting next to him as he snoozes its just the fact that he is sleeping in that seat while NOT in a car that's really going to burn him up.
--pause--
That's my boy...as soon as I typed it he woke up. Mad? Oh yeah! But, I can't bring myself to disrupt his dreams. I'm realizing that is another HUGE part of parenting that starts from the day your child is born until the day they bury you...not only NOT disrupting or getting in the way of their dreams but almost encouraging, nudging them, or...more like PUSHING THEM towards them. Not because you want them to be madly rich, powerful, successful...but you want them to be HAPPY. Because although Kaden cried when he realized he was in that chair...after he saw my face, saw that I was right there to help him out of it, I got one of the BEST side grins out of him. The one that says "yeah I know I was just crying Ma but, you have me now so I'm good".
So I'm ok with Kaden being mad at me every once in a while because it's my job to remind him to dream while he can. As long as he knows he has my support in every dream that creeps into his head. Pretty powerful stuff when these realizations hit. Being a parent does this to you. Makes you step back and look at how this ONE little action, this ONE little decision to either let the child sleep and dream or get him up and ready for bed, this one hug, this one "I Love You" changes him. Molds him. And I'm responsible for the shape and outcome. Powerful.
Quote of the day:
"If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent." ~Bette Davis
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
As I stated in my previous post, life very appropriately is in a constant state of change. Charles got laid off. I've been debating on whether or not I wanted to write about this...because it is still so fresh and quite honestly I've never been so floored that I thought we'd lose everything we worked so hard for. BUT. Writing is my therapy, thus I'm going to unload in this post.
We were both caught completely off guard. It was Saturday June 18th...the day before Charles' very FIRST Father's day...I had cards from Kaden and I, a balloon and his favorite cookies. Just waiting for him to get home from work which was usually around 5:45 on Saturdays. I had Kaden at my moms hanging out until I had a chance to give Charles his father's day goodies then I was going to go get Kaden so we could enjoy some family time. He came home. I was joking with him in the garage just standing in front of his car so he couldn't pull in. Shaking my booty at him "nah nah nah boo boo" sort of stuff. I could tell something was wrong the second I saw his face though. "What's wrong?" I'm almost expecting his normal replies "EFFING PAVING ON 20!!! Traffic was ridiculous" or "Q is such an idiot" Typical "I dislike most of the people I work with" or "Atlanta traffic" complaints which can easily be fixed with COOKIES!!!! :-) :-) and a kiss...but no such luck.
He told me he got "laid off" which I've always thought was a sugar coated way of saying "Got fired for NOTHING". I first thought "why?! What could you have possibly done to deserve this?". I mean I'm not stupid. I know we are in a recession. I know people on a daily basis are losing their jobs for no reason what so ever other than LACK OF STUFF TO DO! But to be frank....We hadn't until this point been affected by the recession. We both had jobs that thankfully allowed us to pay our bills and although we never had enough for SAVINGS at least we paid our BILLS. Then I immediately started seeing red. Wanting to get in my truck and go right this OBVIOUS mistake. To tell those people exactly what I thought of them. To tell them how strategically they were screwing their company over by letting someone go who avoided making costly mistakes and who was a forward thinker. A problem solver. A HARD and SMART worker. As opposed to the IDIOT of a "manager" that worked OVER him. Someone who made obvious mistakes OVER AND OVER again. Someone who was costing them MONEY more than MAKING them money. This business move was illogical.
Charles was ultimately calm. Upset? Yes. But not irrational. I was on FIRE. I felt betrayed by these people. Every time I've seen them it was all lollipops and love. They bragged on Charles incessantly. All of it was just a load of bullshit. I calmed down...eventually. I will not forget those assholes but I've calmed down about it. I've come to accept that this is what happened and now we have to pick up and keep on going for Kaden, for our family, for our sanity.
Charles hit the ground running. Emailing resumes, reaching out to any and everybody who seemed as if they needed help. He started with jobs that were available in his preferred field. But he also swallowed his pride and made contact with businesses that he would have to be trained from day ONE to do the tasks they were hiring for. He's been so great in this transition. He has been staying positive as much as he can considering the circumstances. And honestly instead of looking at this situation as a misfortune...I'm thinking its more like the light at the end of the tunnel. He HATED his old job. He disliked the people he worked for. This is turning into an opportunity.
Charles NOW has an Interview tomorrow for Prick Magazine. Doing design layout. A tattoo culture magazine? What more could he ask for? This is PERFECT for him. It seems as though the publisher and him have a lot in common or enough so that they could/would have a lot to talk about in the interview.
Its hard to lose your job. To worry about how you're going to provide for your family. Your child. Charles has handled this so well. Our glass is half full! We are staying positive.
That's the update in the Pennington residence. Nothing too crazy. Stressful? Yes. Crazy? Not so much. Charles is making the best of things. He really is my rock.
We were both caught completely off guard. It was Saturday June 18th...the day before Charles' very FIRST Father's day...I had cards from Kaden and I, a balloon and his favorite cookies. Just waiting for him to get home from work which was usually around 5:45 on Saturdays. I had Kaden at my moms hanging out until I had a chance to give Charles his father's day goodies then I was going to go get Kaden so we could enjoy some family time. He came home. I was joking with him in the garage just standing in front of his car so he couldn't pull in. Shaking my booty at him "nah nah nah boo boo" sort of stuff. I could tell something was wrong the second I saw his face though. "What's wrong?" I'm almost expecting his normal replies "EFFING PAVING ON 20!!! Traffic was ridiculous" or "Q is such an idiot" Typical "I dislike most of the people I work with" or "Atlanta traffic" complaints which can easily be fixed with COOKIES!!!! :-) :-) and a kiss...but no such luck.
He told me he got "laid off" which I've always thought was a sugar coated way of saying "Got fired for NOTHING". I first thought "why?! What could you have possibly done to deserve this?". I mean I'm not stupid. I know we are in a recession. I know people on a daily basis are losing their jobs for no reason what so ever other than LACK OF STUFF TO DO! But to be frank....We hadn't until this point been affected by the recession. We both had jobs that thankfully allowed us to pay our bills and although we never had enough for SAVINGS at least we paid our BILLS. Then I immediately started seeing red. Wanting to get in my truck and go right this OBVIOUS mistake. To tell those people exactly what I thought of them. To tell them how strategically they were screwing their company over by letting someone go who avoided making costly mistakes and who was a forward thinker. A problem solver. A HARD and SMART worker. As opposed to the IDIOT of a "manager" that worked OVER him. Someone who made obvious mistakes OVER AND OVER again. Someone who was costing them MONEY more than MAKING them money. This business move was illogical.
Charles was ultimately calm. Upset? Yes. But not irrational. I was on FIRE. I felt betrayed by these people. Every time I've seen them it was all lollipops and love. They bragged on Charles incessantly. All of it was just a load of bullshit. I calmed down...eventually. I will not forget those assholes but I've calmed down about it. I've come to accept that this is what happened and now we have to pick up and keep on going for Kaden, for our family, for our sanity.
Charles hit the ground running. Emailing resumes, reaching out to any and everybody who seemed as if they needed help. He started with jobs that were available in his preferred field. But he also swallowed his pride and made contact with businesses that he would have to be trained from day ONE to do the tasks they were hiring for. He's been so great in this transition. He has been staying positive as much as he can considering the circumstances. And honestly instead of looking at this situation as a misfortune...I'm thinking its more like the light at the end of the tunnel. He HATED his old job. He disliked the people he worked for. This is turning into an opportunity.
Charles NOW has an Interview tomorrow for Prick Magazine. Doing design layout. A tattoo culture magazine? What more could he ask for? This is PERFECT for him. It seems as though the publisher and him have a lot in common or enough so that they could/would have a lot to talk about in the interview.
Its hard to lose your job. To worry about how you're going to provide for your family. Your child. Charles has handled this so well. Our glass is half full! We are staying positive.
That's the update in the Pennington residence. Nothing too crazy. Stressful? Yes. Crazy? Not so much. Charles is making the best of things. He really is my rock.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Been awhile
So it's been a super long time since I've done this BUT, its never too late to write. My life (our life as a family) has changed, gotten bigger, moved around but all in all LIFE IS GOOD.
Since I've last blogged Charles and I have accomplished a lot. I got promoted at work in 2009. Bought a home November 2009, Charles got promoted in early 2010. I found out I was pregnant in April 2010 (April 5th to be exact). I gave birth to a 7lb 10 oz beautiful baby boy on December 16th at 12:44 pm one day AFTER my due date. Brought Mr. Kaden Lee Michael Pennington home on December 25th (best X-Mas gift ever) after a week stint in the N.I.C.U for a neo-natal infection. That was a super rough time for me recovering from a C-section that I didn't want to have and was unexpected to begin with. Being discharged and leaving without my baby. Then going back and forth to the hospital to see my baby. Waddling around with swollen legs and feet. Hunched over because my stomach hurt so bad. Having to see him hooked up to machines. Having to see his poor foot and eventually arm poked with IV catheters. Having to hear "reports" on my child and how "good or bad" he did that day when I just wanted to yell at those nurses "YOU MAY NOT WANT TO EAT EITHER IF YOU WERE SICK! YOU MAY NOT POOP ON SCHEDULE!!! YOU MAY CRY INCESSANTLY IF YOU WERE SICK!!!".
After getting him home its been an up and down up and down roller coaster of "is this normal? How do I do this? Should I do this because he is doing THIS???" I called my mom a lot in the beginning. I got Kaden on a schedule by the time he was 2 months. Slept through the night. I went back to work March 10th and it really messed with Kaden's schedule.....SOOOO Since I've been back to work its been a mad house. Its hard to work all day, come home cook and take care of Kaden, Clean up after dinner, get Kaden bathed and fed and in bed by a decent hour. Then getting into bed MYSELF at a decent hour just to wake up occasionally at night to get Kaden back to sleep and then still wake up at 5:30 or 6 depending on my work schedule get us ready for the day then out the door. Its so much but at the same time....it's a good busy. Kaden is so easy on me. He is an extremely happy baby. And for that I'm happy.
Now, We are still getting into a schedule but I think we are almost there. Life has been busy and in a constant state of change since 2009....SOOOOO I'm happy and content with being a home body for a while. I'm happy and content to do nothing but hang out with Charles and Kaden.
Those are the updates in a nutshell.....now for the quote of the day:
"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds!"
-Bob Marley
Glad to be back,
SHAY!!!!!!
Since I've last blogged Charles and I have accomplished a lot. I got promoted at work in 2009. Bought a home November 2009, Charles got promoted in early 2010. I found out I was pregnant in April 2010 (April 5th to be exact). I gave birth to a 7lb 10 oz beautiful baby boy on December 16th at 12:44 pm one day AFTER my due date. Brought Mr. Kaden Lee Michael Pennington home on December 25th (best X-Mas gift ever) after a week stint in the N.I.C.U for a neo-natal infection. That was a super rough time for me recovering from a C-section that I didn't want to have and was unexpected to begin with. Being discharged and leaving without my baby. Then going back and forth to the hospital to see my baby. Waddling around with swollen legs and feet. Hunched over because my stomach hurt so bad. Having to see him hooked up to machines. Having to see his poor foot and eventually arm poked with IV catheters. Having to hear "reports" on my child and how "good or bad" he did that day when I just wanted to yell at those nurses "YOU MAY NOT WANT TO EAT EITHER IF YOU WERE SICK! YOU MAY NOT POOP ON SCHEDULE!!! YOU MAY CRY INCESSANTLY IF YOU WERE SICK!!!".
After getting him home its been an up and down up and down roller coaster of "is this normal? How do I do this? Should I do this because he is doing THIS???" I called my mom a lot in the beginning. I got Kaden on a schedule by the time he was 2 months. Slept through the night. I went back to work March 10th and it really messed with Kaden's schedule.....SOOOO Since I've been back to work its been a mad house. Its hard to work all day, come home cook and take care of Kaden, Clean up after dinner, get Kaden bathed and fed and in bed by a decent hour. Then getting into bed MYSELF at a decent hour just to wake up occasionally at night to get Kaden back to sleep and then still wake up at 5:30 or 6 depending on my work schedule get us ready for the day then out the door. Its so much but at the same time....it's a good busy. Kaden is so easy on me. He is an extremely happy baby. And for that I'm happy.
Now, We are still getting into a schedule but I think we are almost there. Life has been busy and in a constant state of change since 2009....SOOOOO I'm happy and content with being a home body for a while. I'm happy and content to do nothing but hang out with Charles and Kaden.
Those are the updates in a nutshell.....now for the quote of the day:
"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds!"
-Bob Marley
Glad to be back,
SHAY!!!!!!
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